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Archive for the ‘psychology of the actor’ Category
Wednesday, August 11th, 2010
Every actor plays the waiting game. Regardless of if you’re waiting to hear about a student film auditions, an agent offer, or whether or not your pilot was picked up, waiting is part of your job. I know, I know, you’ve been told this a million times, but it’s true. You must be patient while you pursue your dream. Patience is indeed a virtue and it’s one that ironically becomes more challenging to master the closer you get to the finish line.
Develop the Habit
It has been said that it takes 21 days to form a habit. In order to increase your chances of success and avoid show business burnout, you must commit to habits rather than attach to any specific result. You must practice patience.
You cannot control when your agent will call, when you’ll get your big break, or how often those residual checks come in, but you can control your own daily activity. Commit to developing the habits of a successful and balanced lifestyle. This goes back to The Rule of Seven. No one thing you do will make or break you, but you can create success by consistently doing one thing each day.
Poet and writer, Ian Krieger, wrote the following about our friend, Mr. Habit.
I am your constant companion.
I am your greatest helper or heaviest burden.
I will push you onward or drag you down to failure.
I am completely at your command.
Half of the things you do you might as well turn over to me
and I will do them-quickly and correctly.
I am easily managed – you must be firm with me.
Show me exactly how you want something done and
after a few lessons, I will do it automatically.
I am the servant of great people, and alas of all failures as well.
Those who are failures, I have made failures.
I am not a machine though I work with the precision of a machine
plus the intelligence of a person.
You may run me for profit or run me for ruin –
it makes no difference to me.
Take me, train me, be firm with me and
I will place the world at your feet.
Be easy with me and I will destroy you.
Who am I?
I am habit.
My client, Marissa, really wanted to book a guest star role on a network television series. This goal seemed somewhat challenging to her, but the prospect of breaking out of her co-star rut and into the guest star level really thrilled her. Marissa created a plan and went all out in her efforts to achieve this goal within thirty days. For the first two weeks of her plan, Marissa did everything she could to make the guest star thing happen. She worked hard, she self-submitted, she told everyone she could about her intention, and she continued to feel excited.
Then week three came and with the looming deadline quickly approaching, Marissa began to feel discouraged because she had not yet booked her guest star role. Soon her efforts and focus slowed down and eventually crept to a stop. At the end of her 30-day deadline, Marissa decided she had failed. Period. No guest star for her. Bummer.
The mistake Marissa made was to cling desperately to the deadline and timeline rather than just commit to developing the habit of taking steady action everyday toward her desires. She became attached to extremely high expectations instead of committing to the vision of her greatest desires. She did not allow herself the opportunity to form the daily habit of work. She became impatient and distracted by perceived results.
Though deadlines do work to motivate you and create accountability, they can also become a distraction. Marissa’s deadline distracted her from her commitment to her acting career as a whole. She put so much meaning and pressure on her timeline, that it left her little room for error or exploration.
Marissa agreed to try something new. She dropped this thirty-day guest star goal and replaced it with the commitment to take five specific steps each day toward booking a guest star. The actions involved in both goals stayed the same, but with a shift in her perspective, Marissa focused on maintaining her momentum and creating the habit of working hard.
Wouldn’t you know it! Over the next four weeks, Marissa booked the lead in an independent film, she booked another co-star role on her favorite series and began auditioning for guest stars three or four times per week. Marissa now knows that regardless of when she books her first guest star, the only thing standing between her and that goal is time.
Most of the time, deadlines work to motivate you and keep you on track. But don’t be fooled by their importance. In truth, a deadline is just a mile marker or measuring stick. They’re something you decide on. They’re also something you can change. Use deadlines to stay in momentum, but don’t allow them to rule your life.
The only place of power is in the present moment. Marissa could not change the past, she could not predict the future, all she could do was attend to the situation at hand and embrace patience in that moment, on that day.
What’s happening right now in your career? What do you choose to do about it? How can you maintain your goals and action plans all while staying focused on the present day? The key is to notice when you are distracted by worry and impatience. Notice when you focus more on what might happen than on what’s actually happening. Pay attention to how often you regret past mistakes or decisions. You cannot know what you do not know, so stay present and open to what’s coming. You cannot change your past regardless of how much you worry about it. To control your career and develop your Tao, you must be willing to stay present and develop successful habits.
An easy way to set yourself up for success in this area is to create an accountability system to keep you on track and motivated. Here are a few fun suggestions:
Create a Tip Jar. Money talks, so reward yourself when you keep your commitment. Let’s say you want to book a guest star too, so you commit to devoting one hour of work toward this goal each day. Every time you keep that commitment, you can tip yourself three bucks. The dollar amount doesn’t really matter here, but I recommend making the amount small enough to afford but also large enough to matter to you.
Sounds fun, huh? Well, on the days you don’t keep your commitment you must remove three dollars from your tip jar and donate it to a charity of your choice. Not so fun. Knowing you must part with cold hard cash is a fantastic incentive to keep your word.
At the end of a month (or specific time period of your choice) you get to empty your tip jar and reward yourself by spending the dough on a lovely treat: a massage, a dinner out, a bottle of gin, whatever suits your fancy.
Pick a Partner. Accountability is a lovely thing, so invite a friend to help you stay on track. The two of you can commit to check in at the end of each day and report on the actions you took for that day as well as your plans for the coming day. Just knowing that someone will be expecting a report on your work will keep you going. I once had two students agree to hold each other accountable to complete three tasks per day toward their acting business – one before 10:00 am, one before 1:00 pm, and the last before 5:00pm. At each designated time, they sent a text message to each other just to say, “Yup. Got my ten o’clock done.” Over a very short time frame, they each made significant progress towards their career goals thanks to their buddy system.
Hire a Coach. As a coach, I understand the value of coaching. I myself often work with a coach of my own. A coach will not only create intense accountability for you, but your coach will also raise the bar and really push you to expand your personal realm of possibility. Also, there is something to be said about the power of financially investing in yourself. If you are paying someone to assist you in achieving your personal and professional goals, trust me you will make sure you get your money’s worth by following through on your commitments. Your coach will also present you with new ideas or methods to accomplishing your goals. Your coach will also empower you to take bold risks and encourage you to challenge yourself. Coaches assist you to break out of old, ugly habits and overcome other personal blocks. Coaches rule!
Celebrate Your Progress. With all this focus on your to-do list and what is left undone, it’s easy to forget about your successes along the way. I don’t know about you, but when it comes to my to-do list, every time I check something off, I add even more things. My to-do list becomes the never-ending log of what I haven’t done yet. That’s fine and all, but come on! When do you get to celebrate those things you’ve actually finished? Where is the focus on the accomplishments? Don’t wait until you’re an Oscar winner to celebrate your life! Try keeping a success journal. Write down five of the day’s accomplishments each night before you go to sleep. Sometimes your accomplishments might be award-winning, other times they might be very simple. It doesn’t matter. An accomplishment exists when you are willing to own it and celebrate it. So celebrate the journey. It’ll make the ride a lot more fun!
Tags: accountability, actor, habits
Posted in balance, psychology of the actor, time management | 2 Comments »
Tuesday, August 3rd, 2010
 Does this cycle sound familiar: your week is booked solid with a lot of tasks, events and activities, but none of them seem to yield the results you’re looking for. Then if a great audition or meeting comes along, it’s a nightmare to reschedule the other commitments. This struggle can leave you frazzled before you even start preparing for the actual audition or meeting. You should be able to enjoy those great opportunities. So how do you restructure your time so you can concentrate on what you really want?
Learn to say no more often. How can you make room for what you really want if your days are jam-packed with other commitments? Let go of the idea that the more you do means the more results you’ll see. Having an agent or a demo reel or casting workshop are not an actions; it’s how you utilize these resources that produces results. You want to concentrate on working smarter, not longer.
Start by making decisions based on where you want to be. Trust that bigger things are on the horizon, but you have to make room for them. A surprise audition offer is something to be excited about, not a cause for alarm. If you’re having a hard time visualizing where you want to be, check out these tips here.
It’s great to admire successful actors, but you don’t need to model their career to the letter to achieve the same success. Success is a process; there is no set formula. Make your own path. If your dream is to be a lead in an indie feature film, don’t spend all your time on other work you think is the first step among many to landing a lead role; why not instead shift your energy toward targeting those lead roles?
We all have limited time, so to maximize yours, you need to adopt a laser beam focus. Brainstorm just one action that feels authentic to you that you believe will pay off if you stay consistent. Be realistic when creating your action plan. If you aren’t comfortable with taking an action, if you think of it too much like a chore, you will not stay consistent long enough to see it pay off. The goal is to streamline a system that helps you toward where you really want to be without it being a constant worry.
Tags: acting, actor, balance, focus, goals
Posted in Goal Getting, psychology of the actor | No Comments »
Tuesday, July 27th, 2010
 Catharine Hildago offers up some great tools to tackle your fears. Here, here… Catharine.
In today’s world, people are comfortable being uncomfortable and stress is the new word for it. Feeling nervous is alright in context because that is linked to our expectations and hopes but even here a constant occurrence is evidence that trouble has come home to roost in your psyche.
It is possible to vanquish your fear. Here’s what Eckhart Tolle and Rita Hurni have taught me on becoming fearless:
1. ASK YOURSELF “HOW AM I FEELING RIGHT NOW”
The problem is that most of you never check in with your feelings and therefore, it is difficult to describe how you actually feel at any given time. That is normal, unfortunately. Keep at it until you can honestly say “I feel sad, glad, vexed, enraged, hurt, or lonely and so on”. The answer will take you exactly where you need to go – to the monster problem hiding in your mental closet. Ignoring it will not make it go away. Focus on what you feel, be with it and it will gradually soften and fade away.
2. ADMIT YOU ARE AFRAID
Verbalizing or writing down what you are afraid of works wonders for the morale because it shines light in that dark place when you externalize it and frees up your shoulders which you did not know were hunched and tense.
3. LIGHTEN UP THE ATMOSPHERE
Start laughing. Yes I am serious! It will be forced at first but gradually changes into genuine, belly hugging laughter within approximately fifteen seconds (and yes, with those resistant folks, it takes longer). It is wonderful therapy and get those feel good hormones circulating in your blood. Do it in the morning in front of the bathroom mirror before the start of your workday.
4. LIGHTEN UP YOURSELF
Get a back massage, go for a walk, jog, go to the gym, take the dog for a long walk, join a yoga class, go to the YMCA, join a freestyle painting class, do ten minutes of deep breathing to help you relax whenever you need to clear your mind, put on music that you love and dance to it, create a time-frame during the day for a minimum of thirty minutes when you cannot be disturbed, and so on and so forth. This is just a sample of how you can create a different mood to change your feelings. All of these activities help remove the toxins caused by stress from your body.
5.CHANGE YOUR THINKING
When negative thoughts arise, stop them right there and do something else to occupy your mind. It automatically makes you think of something else as well. Sometimes it does not work because I am so “in the zone” of negativity. However, it is my mind and I am in charge just as you are of yours. Persevere and move from one good thought to the next until you succeed in changing your thinking. Try it.
6.COMMUNE WITH NATURE
If you have a plant at home and you cannot go outside, concentrate on that plant and relax. Admire the green leaves, the shape of the leaves, etc. and just be with nature’s representative in your home. If you can go outside, do so. Admire the trees, listen to the birds, the breeze, the rustling leaves and let the sensation inhabit you as you walk among or under the trees or lie in the grass. Focus on the natural wonders of nature and let her take you away.
7.MEDITATE
This time-tested method will transport you out of time, every single time. Ignore what you have heard about sitting positions, thoughts, etc. unless you are a yoga aficionado or so-called purist. You cannot stop your thoughts and the more you try, the faster they will arise. Just sit, lie down or recline somewhere, in silence, for twenty to thirty minutes and relax. If you fall asleep it is because you need it because you are tired and/or sleep deprived. If you are too busy during the day, bed time is the other option. Relax in bed and take, one, two, three, deep breaths and let your body sink down further. Notice how your body feels from your toes to your head. Feel it’s aliveness and appreciate that feeling. You will gradually drift into a very restful sleep and wake up refreshed next morning.
OVERRIDE THE PROGRAMMING
These techniques may seem too simple or silly when trying to brace as large a subject as fear but fear is just a bogey man. We no longer live (most of us) in fight or flight situations. Fear is just something you were taught and it is time to override that programming.
Try these techniques for twenty-one days and you will discover a fearlessness in you which you did not think was possible. Because you can only become fearless by changing the way you feel which means changing the way you think.
Catherine “Yours Truly” Hidalgo
Thrive and tell others how at
http://www.lifechangestartsnow.com/2009/06/abraham-hicks-thrive-and-tell-others.html
Article Source:
http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Catherine_Hidalgo
Tags: actors, fearlessness, stress management for actors
Posted in psychology of the actor | No Comments »
Tuesday, June 29th, 2010
I was fortunate enough to contribute a chapter in the award-winning book, Conscious Entrepreneurs. Now, I’d like to share it with you…
After more than eight years as the president of my own company, I’ve learned a lot about what it takes to create a thriving business. I’ve learned how to manage budgets, train personnel, sell effectively, and invest wisely. The most valuable lesson I’ve learned has nothing to do with the numbers, the staff, or the nuts and bolts of business activity. Instead, it simply involves the power of perspective.
In Chinese, the word crisis is composed of two characters. One character (Wei) represents danger and the other (Kei) represents opportunity. A crisis is a turning point or a pivotal moment in time. Entrepreneurs face these turning
points daily, especially during the start-up phases of the company. When operating your business, do you choose danger or do you choose opportunity?
My good friend Sean loves to play poker. He participates in tournaments regularly and loves studying the game as well as its players, many of whom play professionally. Sean believes that there are two kinds of poker players: the ones
who play to win and the ones who play to not lose. Those who play to win, focus more on opportunity. They are committed to learning, improving, and winning big. They understand that part of winning big means losing at times.
They even treat their losses as learning opportunities that will translate into future wins. The poker players, who play to not lose, seem to be so afraid they will run out of chips that their primary focus becomes about avoiding zero.
Distracted by their fear of losing, these players rarely win in the end. When your only goal is hanging on to one chip, you’ll most likely end up with just one chip.
Winning poker players trust their instincts, design a strategy, embrace bold decisions, and ultimately take home the big bucks because of possible in business when you maintain a Kei perspective.
Focusing on opportunity offers endless possibility. By embracing a crisis as an opportunity, you can focus on growth, experience and forward motion. Operating from this place, you can clearly distinguish fact from fiction.
Conversely, focusing on danger or fear, your primary concern becomes about survival – the danger controls you. Fear motivates you to avoid harm and to simply get by. When operating from a danger-consciousness, your options are
limited to those alternatives connected to the fear itself, which in turn only create more fear. Your actions become motivated by emotions or ideas about what might happen rather than what is actually true. This leaves you stuck in a state of contemplation or avoidance, preventing you from taking positive action.
Author and philosopher, Florence Scovel Shinn once wrote, “Nothing but fear and doubt stands between a man and his highest ideals and every desire of his heart. When a man can wish without worrying every desire will be instantly
fulfilled. We must substitute faith for fear, for fear is only inverted faith; it is faith in evil instead of good.”
My business turned around overnight when I moved away from fear and into faith. I started my own company at the ripe-old-age of 24. I secured a business loan, created a business plan and set up shop over a period of about 30 days. For the first two years in business, fear was calling all of the shots. My fear of failure paralyzed me. Afraid of not having enough money, I worried everyday about money. I avoided investing in the business in order to hang on to what little money I had. Afraid of being judged or rejected, I avoided advertising and spreading the word about the service I provided. Afraid of overcharging, I offered services at a significantly lower rate or even for free. By charging these low rates, I was essentially telling my clients that I did not value my own business and they in turn did not value the service I provided.
My fear of failure paralyzed me and prevented me from taking any action. When I focused on failure, rejection, or lack of resources, all of my decisions originated from those fearful places. As a result, my business didn’t grow, I couldn’t pay the rent, and I was miserable.
I continued to struggle and worry, but eventually grew tired of being afraid. I realized that if my business was going to survive, I had to change my perspective. With nothing to lose, I decided to try an experiment. For thirty days, I ignored my problems and fears and only focused on positive possibilities. I decided to switch from fear to faith (which I later came to understand to be choosing a Kei rather than a Wei perspective). I rejected all fear-based thoughts and operated my current business as though it already was successful, thriving, and expanding every day. I took risks. I played to win.
Immediately, new and exciting opportunities presented themselves. I said yes to every opportunity. Then I took action, with the faith that my business would benefit, and it did. I doubled my client base and doubled my income in less than thirty days. My company has grown more than I ever expected since I replaced fear with faith and embraced a Kei perspective. Now, I confidently take risks, commit to learning every day, and enjoy helping my clients achieve their greatest goals. With a Kei perspective, I no longer allow a fear of failure to overshadow my potential and the possibilities for my business.
I eliminated my fears by focusing on my love for my clients, my passion for the service I provided, and my faith in the opportunities ahead of me. These values meant more to me than any perceived fears I felt, and by focusing on these values, the Wei seemed no longer an option.
Making the shift
Shifting from a fear-based Wei perspective to a passionate Kei perspective involves three steps.
Step One: Identify what values or commitments matter most to you and to your business. What motivates you? How would you like your work to impact your world and the world around you?
You may value education or service to others. You may value money, freedom, adventure, philanthropy, or personal growth. As an entrepreneur, your commitments might include success or achievement, contributing to your
community, or excelling in the marketplace. It’s important to identify what matters most to you and your business so that you can hold those values in mind when making crucial decisions.
Step Two: Set your fears aside. They may feel very real, but focusing on them does not serve your business. Focus on your values and commitments, and identify what you value most. What is possible? What opportunities do your commitments present? Brainstorm with others as often as you can and see what new opportunities arise.
If you value freedom and flexibility most, you may realize that the best way to expand your business is to align yourself with other synergistic businesses, so that you can rely on others to spread the word about what you do. If you value education and personal growth, perhaps you will see how investing in continued education will allow you to take your business to the next level.
Step Three: Focus only on these opportunities. Write them down and read them daily. What action can you take to step into a Kei perspective? Do not worry about developing the perfect plan. Just take consistent action and trust in your values.
By setting your fears aside, identifying your core values, and taking consistent action, you cannot lose with a Kei perspective. You will notice that by utilizing your values and commitments to seize opportunities, fears immediately
dissipate. Replace your fears with your passions and watch the opportunities unfold.
Tags: business succcess, know your value
Posted in Goal Getting, psychology of the actor | No Comments »
Friday, June 18th, 2010
 Keep Your Word
Your word is your bond, so follow-up and follow-through. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Do what you say you will do. Don’t gossip. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. Speak freely and openly about your life and career, but walk your walk. Remember, actions speak louder than words.
Mind Your Own Business
Bette Davis once said, “I do not regret one professional enemy I have made. Any actor who doesn’t dare to make an enemy should get out of the business.” The opinions of others are, quite frankly, none of your business. Do not allow yourself to be distracted or discouraged by what others think, or say, or do. Yes, accept advice and feedback, but never forget that no one knows you like you do.
Don’t Take Yourself So Seriously
When you take yourself too seriously, you create unneeded stress, worry, and disappointment. Your best work comes from a place of freedom and playfulness. When you adopt a make-or-break attitude, you stifle your creativity. Though it may be tough to hear, no one else takes your mistakes or questions as seriously as you do. You are not as important as your ego would have you believe. So, take a chill pill, set your ego aside for a bit, and play with possibility.
Connect the Dots
Contrary to what you might think, every aspect of your life is connected. Think about it. When you exercise, you feel energized and confident. This confidence helps you in audition or performance situations. An organized desk leads to peace of mind and more freedom. Your relationships with others reflect your relationship with yourself. The way you do anything is the way you do everything. It’s your job to connect the dots. Appreciate how your day job serves your artistic vision. Understand how keeping a balanced checkbook affects the balance in your life as a whole. Realize that now is the time to live the life of your dreams. Treat yourself like you’re already there.
You’re Here to Work
If you desire an income-generating career as an artist, you must also respect the business. You cannot thrive by just being an art-eeest. It just doesn’t work. Sure, you can be creatively fulfilled, which is fantastic! That’s kinda the point, isn’t it? If that’s all you want from your art, then step out of the business. Stop looking for an agent, stop attending workshops, and stop any marketing you may be doing. Instead, put up incredible plays, do a lot of great writing, paint, travel and create whenever you can. You’ll be happy you did.
But if you want to make money and have a career in show business, you must be informed about your industry. You must be well trained. You must network, read the trades, and market yourself. Otherwise, you’re not here to really do business.
Live Dangerously
Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. Do the thing you think you cannot do. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ You have to accept whatever comes and the only important thing is that you meet it with courage and with the best that you have to give.”
Take risks. Live Boldly. When you feel fear, ask yourself, “What’s the worst that might happen if I take this risk?” The answer is that you’ll move past your fear. You’ll survive. You might even get somewhere.
Don’t Think
Most artists spend a lot of time thinking about what they want rather than acting upon their instincts. Don’t think your life away. Follow your instincts. Listen to your gut – it’s telling you something. When you wonder whether or not you’re making the smartest move, you’re likely to think yourself right out of taking any action at all. Every step you take brings new results. Those results determine what comes next. So, you simply must take action in order to achieve your goals. Don’t think. Just Move.
Wanna Thrive? Join me in the premier coaching club for actors, The Thriving Artist Circle.
Tags: thriving artist circle, time management
Posted in Goal Getting, balance, marketing for actors, psychology of the actor | No Comments »
Tuesday, June 8th, 2010
It was Albert Einstein who said, “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” Every action you take produces a result. Your job is to take an objective look at the results you produce and make the necessary adjustments before taking the next action. If you audition countless times without producing a callback, it’s time to adjust how you approach auditions. If your current headshots look great, but don’t produce auditions, it’s time to re-evaluate your photos. If you’ve been with the same manager or acting coach for years yet your career hasn’t changed, it might be time to shake up your team a little. If you can’t seem to catch a break doing what you’re doing, it’s time to do it differently. It’s not time to quit, but it is time to avoid insanity. In order to create the career of your dreams, you must be willing to take action, to try new things, and to make some mistakes along the way.
Let me be crystal clear here. I am in no way suggesting that you jump around giving up on things before they have time to develop. I am also not suggesting that you quit when the going gets rough. I am simply reminding you to stay alert and open to making changes. Be flexible in your actions and willing to adjust the plan as things unfold. That’s all.
Flexibility can help you to avoid failure. Please know however, that failure itself is not actually real. Dr. Wayne Dyer discusses failure in his book, Ten Secrets for Success and Inner Peace. He writes, “This may come as a surprise to you, but failure is an illusion. No one ever fails at anything. Everything you do produces a result.”
Failure is only a concept. It’s just a judgment. Failure is a concept you create whenever you apply a particular value to an act or an event. It’s impossible for you to fail at anything because everything you do simply produces a result. So then, what will you do with the results that you generate? Will you quit or beat yourself up when an audition goes south? Will you tell yourself that you aren’t cut out for this business after your first rejection?
Martin Scorsese finally won an Oscar for his film, The Departed, in 2007. Does that make all his other films failures? Does it even mean that The Departed was his best piece of work? Michelle Kwan entered the 1998 Olympics as a World Champion Figure Skater and the gold medal favorite. But the gold slipped through her fingers and she won the silver instead. Does that make her a figure skating failure? Babe Ruth holds the Major League baseball record for most strike outs, yet he is known as one of baseball’s greatest legends rather than a failure. You see, failure is just an idea. It’s only a judgment, and it doesn’t have to exist in your acting journey.
A client named Grant was a full time commercial actor who had worked consistently over the course of about fifteen years. One day, Grant fell flat on his face during an audition. Not literally, but he may as well have… it was that bad. After slinking out of the room, Grant hopped in his car where his friend awaited him. Feeling like a failure, Grant complained to his friend, “It’s just not worth it. I’m not any good at this. I guess I’m not really meant to be an actor.”
Luckily, Grant’s friend was much less dramatic and quickly knocked some sense into Grant. He said, “Excuse me, but if I am not mistaken you’ve already won at this acting thing. How many more people do you think move to a city where an acting career is possible, but go home after a short time? How many other people live here and say they’re doing this acting thing, but don’t study or workshop or attempt to improve their craft? You’re already successful. You’ve already won. Everything from here is just part of that.”
Thanks, Grant’s friend. I couldn’t have said it better myself!
Just like Grant, you, too, have already made it. You’re here, you’re doing this, and you’re getting better. Most importantly, you’re willing to move through setbacks and perceived failures along your journey toward acting success. Failure is a fake out. It’s just a tricky form of resistance. Don’t fall victim to it.
If failure isn’t actually real, then neither is perfection. They are both ideas about good and bad or about right and wrong. Neither concept really serves you. Perfectionism can distract you from taking action and being happy with your career. When you strive for perfection, knowing it isn’t real, you simply set yourself up for disappointment.
I worked with an actor named Emma who had hit a plateau in her career. Emma felt stuck and unmotivated. She knew what she needed to do, but for some reason couldn’t manage to ever get it done. You see, Emma suffered from a little thing called perfectionism and it paralyzed her.
Emma needed new headshots, but wanted to lose ten pounds before re-shooting. She wanted to find the perfect agent, but didn’t know who that person was yet. She wanted to complete a postcard mailing, but didn’t know what message to write. She wanted to join a networking group, but couldn’t decide which one would be best for her.
I asked Emma what stopped her from pursuing representation. She told me that she was afraid of signing with the wrong agent. I asked her what prevented her from testing out the networking waters. She replied that she felt overwhelmed by too many options and didn’t want to end up at the wrong place.
Emma’s desire for the perfect career, the perfect agent, and the perfect networking group prevented her from taking any action. Her belief in perfection and failure wasn’t working for her. She was so afraid that she might make a mistake that she didn’t do anything.
I decided that Emma needed to free herself from her need for perfection. Perfection, just like failure, isn’t real. It’s just an idea about how things should be or what they could look like. But it doesn’t actually exist. When you attempt to attain this thing that is completely unattainable, you guarantee disappointment and often, paralysis.
Perfectionism is shrewd. It’s the ultimate form of resistance. It’s just a fancy way to avoid being truly accountable. When you insist on perfect results, you provide yourself with an out. Why take any action if it can’t be perfect, right?
In order to have the career you really desire, you must be willing to practice imperfection. This is precisely what I encouraged Emma to do. So, for the next several weeks, Emma began to practice imperfection.
Playing with imperfection opened Emma up to new possibilities. It also transformed her career. She began networking. Yes, she found a few networking groups that weren’t her style, but soon enough she found the “perfect” group for her. She discovered it only because she was willing to find some wrong groups first.
Emma decided to mail her imperfect headshots out to fifty agents whose names she literally drew from a hat. Two days after the mailing went out, she received a call from a top commercial agency and had a meeting set up for the following week.
Emma busted out of her rut when she practiced imperfection. She learned that the more willing she was to make mistakes, the more easily she found what was right for her. She understood that the path to a “perfect” career included some rather imperfect steps. She realized that perfectionism only kept her stuck.
You can eliminate failure by practicing imperfection. In order to take your career to the heights you are capable of, you must release any need for perfection and get used to making mistakes. The only way to really succeed at something is to be willing to be bad at it first. That’s how you learn. That’s how you get better.
The next time you are paralyzed by ideas of failure or perfection, ask yourself, “What do I need to do to find out if I’m right?” Then be open to finding out. If you fear your postcards won’t work, what do you need to do to find out if that’s true? You must mail your postcards. If you fear that your headshots are bad, what do you need to do in order to find out just how bad they are? Show them to people and get some feedback. If you fear that you’re horrible at improv, what do you need to do in order to find out? Well, try some improv. The cure to perfectionism and to a fear of failure is to do it anyway. Take action, practice imperfection, and grow from there.
Posted in Goal Getting, psychology of the actor, time management | 1 Comment »
Monday, May 17th, 2010
I received a great article today from L.A.-based actress Puja M. that I wanted to pass on to you:
Tags: actor, confidence, expectations, luck, success
Posted in psychology of the actor | 1 Comment »
Wednesday, May 5th, 2010
I remember reading a magazine interview with Uma Thurman. I think it was Vanity Fair. Anyway… While describing the scene of the interview, the reporter pointed out that Ms. Thurman was enveloped in support from the time she arrived to well past the end of the interview.
When asked about her entourage, Uma Thurman pointed out that success requires an impeccable level of support. Okay, you may not feel “entourage-ready” just yet, but if you want to elevate your success, you must examine three keys areas of support. You need systems to support your process, people to support your vision, and an environment to support your creativity.
Your Systems
You probably utilize systems but just aren’t aware of them. Systems are more than fancy database software or some sort of assembly line. Systems are habits or rituals that support your day-to-day life.
Perhaps you do your banking online. That’s a system to save you time and paper. Maybe you always do laundry on Sundays. That’s a ritual. Take a moment to brainstorm what systems you currently utilize.
Here are a few examples to get you started:
managing contacts
google alerts
marketing rituals
bill paying
email management
exercise routine
classes or workshops
research
bedtime, rise and shine
J.O.B hours
TV time
After you’ve identified your current systems, ask yourself, “How well is this system working for me?” If your current systems support your success, keep ‘em. If they don’t, it’s time to change things up.
I discovered a subtle but destructive system in my own life. I had a bad habit of setting my alarm an hour earlier than I needed to get out of bed. In my mind, I figured that I’d get to hit the snooze button five or six times before actually rising in the morning. The truth is that I could have use that time exercising, meditating, preparing for my day, or better yet, actually sleeping rather than snoozing. The snooze button is not a supportive system.
Remember that your systems must support where you’re going more than they support where you are. If you want more success, you must set up systems that you can grow into. Think of your systems as coffee cups. A Venti won’t ever fit into a Grande-sized mug no matter how hard you work at it.
A great example of this is your contact database. Perhaps, right now, you don’t know a ton of people. So, keeping track of them is pretty simple. You’ve got an envelope of business cards in a desk drawer, some email addresses in your Gmail account, and phone numbers stored in your Blackberry. Sure, this disjointed system works just fine when you’re only managing a couple dozen contacts. But how are you supposed to build relationships with more people if you don’t have a system able to support those future contacts? If you build it, they will indeed come. So, create a contact database now that can support all the relationships you intend to build on your road to success. I like Performer Track, Bento, Filemaker, and even Gmail if you utilize it properly.
Your Team
Jim Rohn once said that you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. So, who are you hanging out with? Are you surrounded by supportive people who want you to realize your fullest potential? Do you align yourself with experts who can teach you those things you don’t yet know? In general, do your friends and colleagues reflect the life you desire for yourself? Or are you surrounded by people who struggle, who believe that the entertainment industry is tough, people who complain, or lack a generous spirit?
Either way, the people in your life simply reflect who you are. So, surround yourself with trailblazers, positive thinkers, filmmakers, moneymakers, and change makers. If you are the most successful person in your circle, it’s time to expand your circle of influence in a big way.
Now, I’m not suggesting that you abandon your friends and dump your spouse. Instead, reach out to experts, coaches, and mentors who can show you what else is possible. If you really want success, you must take a leap into the unknown. Surrounding yourself with successful people arms you with the courage and knowledge you need to take that leap.
Next, what jobs can you delegate to someone else so you are free to do what you are really good at? If you’re like me and you can’t cook well, it’s time to hand that task over. Don’t worry, you don’t have to hire a personal chef (though that’d be nice, wouldn’t it?). Instead, look into the prepared and balanced meals offered by Wholefoods. Dream Dinners, a low cost “we make it, you bake it” service is a dream come true for non-cookers who want to eat a healthy meal.
Perhaps you’re not a natural networker. This is not reason enough to avoid building relationships. Instead, bring an outgoing friend with you to events. Introduce each other to new people. That way you can toot your friend’s horn and vice versa. It’s much easier to brag about your buddy than it is to talk about yourself.
Supportive people feed you in two ways. First, they inspire you to be bigger, bolder, and more successful. Next, they help you realize your fullest potential by taking over tasks you may not excel at, leaving room for you to focus on what you love.
Your Environment
Last but not least, you need a supportive environment. Believe it or not, your environment plays a huge part in your productivity, perspective, and all around well being. I remember returning to my hometown in northwestern Washington State after living in Los Angeles for a year. I was struck by how blue I felt in that rainy weather! I’d lived in Washington for years with no idea that I do better in sunshine.
Do you like where you live? Is your home or apartment clean, organized, and colorful? As an artist, it’s essential that you can be comfortably creative every day. Your home either supports your creativity or it hinders it. Which side is your home on?
Creating a supportive environment is easier than you think. Start by designating a space just for your work. This can be a corner of your desk, an office, or counter. Just be certain that your workspace doesn’t overlap with your TV space or sleeping space. Now, when you’re working, you’re working. When you’re playing, it’s all about play.
Next, clean up. A cluttered environment leaves no room for anything new and exciting. So, take the time to clean up and get organized. The expert in this area is The Flylady. Click here to check out her informative and inspirational site dedicated to being clean, organized, and inspired.
Most of us share a home with a roommate or spouse. So, don’t shrug off a supportive environment just because your space is shared. Your job is to establish an outside environment that supports your work and creativity. The public library is fantastic. I actually wrote the majority of my book at the Santa Monica Public Library. It worked for me because the space was gorgeous, and I was surrounded by people who were quietly working. Perhaps you are inspired by nature. Take your work to the park. If you like art, frequent your local museum. I’ve got a client who loves the hustle and bustle of her neighborhood coffee shop. Each night after work, she stops by the coffee shop to work on her script for a couple of hours.
Consider your environment. What changes can you make to your home in order to support your career endeavors? What museum, coffee shop, park or library can you visit to get down to business more easily? Now, take the time to uplevel your environment so you can ignite your creativity.
While surrounded by inspiring places and things, your inner genius can more easily shine. Supportive systems allow you to streamline your workload and accomplish more. Lastly, the people in your life make the biggest impact. Surround yourself with the people you admire as often as you can.
With unlimited support from your systems, your team, and your environment, you’ll have more time to focus on what you really love. So, you’re sure to be unstoppable in no time!
Want more on this topic? Check out my blog post about how to delegate, appreciate, and automate your life.
Tags: acting, acting success, actor, support, team building
Posted in Goal Getting, Uncategorized, psychology of the actor, time management | 1 Comment »
Monday, May 3rd, 2010
I wanted to share this link about redefining ourselves by our passions and not just our jobs from Alex Fayle’s blog “Someday Syndrome”.
Dedicate Yourself to Life, Not Work
Tags: actor, defining success, focus
Posted in psychology of the actor | No Comments »
Thursday, April 22nd, 2010
 I hear, all too often, that the entertainment industry is “crazy” or “tough”. Sure, the business can be a challenge, but we must remember that the majority of people, projects, and companies are committed to the same thing – telling compelling stories. In my experience, MOST actors, agents, casting directors, and filmmakers are conscious, compassionate, and committed.
Colleen, one of my Career Cooperative Grads shared a fantastic article with me that I’m excited to pass on. Casting Director Mark Bennet (Hurt Locker) shares his insight on acting success, human compassion, and designing the life you want. It’s good stuff, so check it out here on talent manager Josh Rubenstein’s blog all about compassion in the entertainment industry.
Tags: build relationships, compassion, success
Posted in Networking & Relationships, psychology of the actor | No Comments »
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