What do you do if your longtime actor friend gets her big break before you do? You’re happy for her, of course, but it might bring up major feelings of “compare and despair” for you at the same time.

Obviously, it’s not always easy being friends or roommates or lovers with another actor. There’s some ego involved. Sure. You’re only human. And this industry has an undercurrent of competition flowing through it.

So how can you turn those debilitating feelings into ones that help you progress both in your relationships and in your career? I’ve got 3 suggestions for you.

1. Set Boundaries

I heard a story once about the famous acting couple, Jessica Tandy and Hume Cronyn, and how they survived living in a tiny New York apartment. Their secret was hats. They each had a hat they would wear when they needed some space or time alone.

The other person knew exactly what that hat meant and, if they saw their partner wearing it, they would not bother them until the hat was off. It was their own little secret language to get things done or just take a break from each other because their physical space didn’t allow for escape to another room. Genius.

Jessica herself once said, “It’s hard sometimes…but we always manage to give ourselves space. We don’t live in each other’s pockets. We don’t take the play home with us. We do make suggestions to each other, and if we don’t agree we respect each other’s views.”

So, what are your boundaries? Do you want avoid talking shop when you’re out socially? Or maybe you want to set rules around complaining. Perhaps for you, boundaries look like setting office hours for your acting so your life feels more balanced.

Whatever they are, get clear about your boundaries for yourself and then share those expectations with the other actors in your life. And while you’re at it, remember to treat your friend with the same respect you do in a strictly professional relationship. They will thank you.

2. Turn Your Creativity into Creation

If you really want to get along with your fellow actors, staying grounded and focused on your own journey is key. But let’s be real… jealousy and a little competitiveness are often a natural side effect of the business.

Use the feelings of jealousy or envy you have as fuel to create more. Work on your one woman show, write a blog post, pick up the phone and ask for a meeting with your ideal agent. Rather than wallow and wish things were different, take action. You don’t need to wait to feel better to do this, just take action and your feelings will shift.

Action is the best cure for jealousy, confusion or all around stuckness.

3. Celebrate each other’s successes

One tactic for harmony between actors is to give each other kudos whenever possible. It may be hard to do, however, especially when your peers are working and you’re not. But, sometimes, taking the focus off yourself can actually help free you up for more opportunities to come in.

Try taking the high road when you need to and express your joy for your friend’s success, even if you currently feel less than successful. This support will greatly strengthen your relationship with a fellow actor. You could actually promote their gigs. Maybe interview them on your blog or post your pride on Facebook. And, if you need to, ask your actors friends to do the same for you.

In the same way that you need to make a plan for your career success, you can plan to navigate how you will handle your fellow actors’ successes. Set clear boundaries, get creative, and celebrate each other’s successes for harmony on and off the stage. Actor relationships can have happy endings, you just need to be an active participant in the plot.

What are some ways you and your actor friends make it work?
Let me know if the comments below.

What better way to learn about Turning Pro than from a fellow actor!  May kicks off a new addition to the blog: The TAC Member Spotlight.  So without further ado, let me introduce you to Starr Session (@starrsession).  Starr is a master implementor who’s taken all the TAC has to offer and made it her own.  Since January, she’s landed representation, rocked out a killer bio, and become a networking ninja both on and offline.

1. How are you learning to Turn Pro? 

• I have learned from TAC how to take action for my career by being clear on what I want and need. Which has now given me more confidence.
• I have learned how to narrow down a list of people I want to become my fan. I also have started a newsletter where I reach out to people so they can keep up with what I am doing.
• By setting monthly goals, I can now see measurable momentum in my career.
• I have learned how to network.
• Write a new bio/twitter bio.
• I have made an awesome one-sheet.
• I have learned how to “date” my representation… so to speak. We are working on a real relationship and not just business transactions.
• I have learned about cold calls, drop offs, agent submissions, marketing and other tools that will allow me to take control of my career.

2. How is your career growing?

With just 4 months under my belt as a TAC member, I have learned more things from my peers in the group, wisdom from the guest speakers, and of course channeling Dallas’s positive outlook on the industry has allowed me to take control of my career. I now treat my career as if I am the CEO of Starr Session Incorporation. I set monthly goals that are attainable. My monthly milestones also allow me to create credible touches to my laser focused list of people who are my fans and who I want to be my fan. By following the monthly videos I have updated my twitter and website bio, learned valuable tips from the hot seat calls, and I now feel like I can network with the best of them. Using Dallas’ tools has given me a better success rate at gaining more auditions, booking gigs, and happiness in my career. Let’s just say the people around me have seen a change in my career and I know it’s because of Dallas’s words to, “Stop hurrying up to wait.” I’ve always been a go-getter but never like this. I am gaining a better sense on how to market myself. I have control and it feels good.

3. What are you celebrating?

My bio isn’t stiff and boring and that all comes from the tips that are easily outlined. I booked an event where they requested my bio for their website and other promotional materials, and, boy, am I proud of it. I feel like people can get a sense of who I am.

I went to a networking event, where I was asked the question, “What have I seen you in?” Since I am new to theatrical but have worked as a host, voiceover, and commercial talent, I was armed with an answer that allowed me to stand out and also connect in a way that landed me an audition.

I also made an awesome one-sheet which got me noticed and into an audition. I can’t wait to make my next one.

I gained a manager, who I was confident in signing because of all the great tips other actors gave on the Hot Seat calls and the FB Page. I knew what to look for in a manager. As well as how to treat our relationship.

My networking script landed me a part in a short. And now I have a relationship with a director, whom I hope to work with again.

Time management and motivation has allowed me to double the amount of voiceovers in the last two months.

I started a new web series called Triple Dub Show which I am marketing with the tips from this program and it’s growing each week. I’m using my skills of hosting, lighting, filming, editing and producing in this one project and it is only adding to my skill set. It’s almost time to shop the show. Booking myself, and not waiting for casting directors to book me, feels good. I’m going over their head and casting myself so to speak.

I started an acting fund which goes towards classes and becoming SAG-AFTRA. No more surprises and stressing out about $$$. This is a huge stress reliever.

I reached out to the FB Members a few different times and received great responses. I even spoke to one of the members who took time out of her day to answer some questions.

4. What do you like best about TAC? 

Dallas is my unofficial life coach, the Thriving Artist Circle is my career coach, and the FB Page is my accountability coach. Hand in hand, I feel like I have a great team behind me that is here to organize me and keep me motivated. And by team I mean Dallas and her community of people who share the same vision but are supportive every step of the way. The FB group is awesome and keeps me inspired, while the TAC website has easy to use videos with great handouts that allows me to keep track of what I want and where I am going. I also love that the program is low cost which is affordable for actors like me who book gigs but also have a JOB.

5. What would you suggest to a brand new Member about how to best utilize TAC? 

Set time aside 5-6 days a week on your career but just an hour or two a day. During this time make sure you head over to the website and the FB Page at least once a week to gain more knowledge and valuable tips to add to your to do list. TAC has made me busier, in a good way. Instead of feeling like I don’t have control of my career, I now realize there is so much I could can do to gain more leverage. They make it easy to stay connected with monthly newsletters. With the easy to follow links that not only add events to my google calendar  but also keep me organized. Take the time to listen to all of the videos/calls for the month. I’m a digital person, so I take notes on my computer and I am able to go back and look at them anywhere and anytime.  This past month I didn’t have time to sit at home and listen, so I downloaded the audio and listened to it in the car in traffic. What’s funny is I have listened to some of the calls a few times, and most of the time I catch something new that didn’t stand out to me before. That’s life right?.. the answers are right in front of you but sometimes it just doesn’t click right away.

6. What does Turning Pro mean to you? 

Turning pro means that I will find happiness in this hectic career of chasing fame. I want to be great at what I do and that includes marketing my hard work so more and more people can see it. As a Pro, I have a handle on my career and I can steer my career in the direction I want. I’m already a pro because if I want to do something, I have the tools to make it happen without feeling defeated. With this growing community, I have a ton of friends; some I’ve never met but they will be there to help me when I’m stuck. Booking more gigs than I did the month before feels great, but it is because I now have a handle on my career.  No one is going to work harder than me on my career, but the difference is I’m working smarter.

Follow Starr on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram: @StarrSession or her webseries @TripleDubShow

Want to be in the Member Spotlight? You need to be a TAC Member first! Join here and your first month is $1.

Do you wish you could eliminate fear altogether? Does fear stop you from really being yourself?

What if I told you that fear could actually serve you in your success?

Watch this week’s Acting Business Bite to learn how to accept your fears and let them serve you.

Okay, it’s time for you to step up to the fearlessness plate. Please share how you will commit to facing your fears this week in the comments below.

Eventually, you will need your dream team in place if you want your career to really soar. Spring is typically is the best time to seek representation. So, let me share three ways you can begin your pursuit without wasting time and money.

Check out the article here on Backstage.com.

If you’re like me, you’ve realized that Twitter holds a lot of potential for relationship building in the business because of the direct line of communication it offers you.

Everyday, I see more actors, agents, casting directors and filmmakers engage in powerful online communication using Twitter as their tool.

Everyday, I also see a lot of actors waste time tweeting away and wondering why their followers aren’t responding.

Well, there’s a right way and a wrong way to tweet, so let me share two easy tips to help you make the most out of your tweets.

1. Engage the Cool Kids

Twitter has more than 200 million active users. So, chances are, if you’re tweeting about a certain project, person, charity, etc. there’s someone on Twitter associated with it or them.

If you want to grab the attention of your dream director, casting director or agent, you’ve got to do two things. First, be sure to mention them. Secondly, actually engage them in a relevant conversation.

So, rather than tweeting something like:
GIRLS was good this week. I think Lena Dunham and Judd Apatow are a perfect creative team!

Spice up your engagement potential with:
Loved the @GirlsHBO #S2Finale. So glad powerhouses @JuddApatow & @LenaDunham teamed up. Lena: what’s the coolest part of playing #Hannah?

This works because I’m directly mentioning Lena Dunham and Judd Apatow as well as grabbing the attention of HBO. Secondly, I asked Lena a question – a great and direct way to invite engagement.

2. Tweet Outside the Oscars

Live Tweeting: (verb) to engage on Twitter for a continuous period of time, anywhere from 20 minutes to a few hours, with a sequence of focused tweets.

Sure, everyone live tweets the big awards shows, the Super Bowl, the finale of The Bachelor… But what about creating your own event to live tweet something you love? A favorite rom-com from the 90s, a documentary about a charity you love, your Bar Mitzvah video… Get creative!

Make a game out of it. Advertise a few days before, and create some buzz with your followers. Engage your audience in Q&A. Ask them about their favorite part of the movie.

On the night of the event, mention cast members in your tweets. Ask them questions about certain scenes; tweet to the writers and the composers of the songs in the movie; see if the director is online and tell him/her how much you enjoy their work.

The goal is to connect with people who have similar interests, and put yourself out there in the Twitter-sphere in new and exciting ways.

You could tweet this:
Looking forward to some groovy girl movies this weekend. Top of my list? Pitch Perfect!

Instead tweet this:
#LiveTweeting @PitchPerfect Saturday @7. @AnnaKendrick47 & @RebelWilson: Any tips on being aca-awesome?

The idea here is to create an appointment or event for your followers in order to create some urgency and purpose for your tweeple.

At the end of the day, Twitter is about connecting and having fun. Isn’t that what acting is all about too? Connecting with people, characters, and stories. Reaching out on Twitter shouldn’t be any different.

Tweeting is simply telling stories in 140 characters or less.

It might take you a little time to figure it out or to find the your people, but with the right plan in place and a little creativity, I have no doubt that you’ll soon be a bonafide Twitter Expert… A Tw-Expert.

Now it’s your turn…

What Twitter strategies have worked best for you?

Tell me about ‘em in the comments box below and I’ll tweet my favorites mentioning you. So, be sure to share your Twitter Handle.

Priscilla here, Dallas’ Program Coordinator and one of her gatekeepers. Gatekeepers aren’t trolls under the bridge waiting to stop you from getting where you want to go. We’re better looking and no where near as scary.

In fact, my job is to help you.

But my job is also to make the boss’s life a whole lot easier at the same time.

I’m sure you can imagine that casting directors, agents, managers, filmmakers and coaches receive a lot of calls, e-mails and requests each day for their time and attention. In order to coordinate that efficiently, every business has a system for you to best communicate with them.

These steps are not designed to make it hard for you to get your question answered; they’re to make sure you get help in the most efficient way possible, and the gatekeepers can still finish their work and keep everyone happy.

Here are five tips to start you off on the right foot with gatekeepers so your next question moves through the pipeline at lightning speed.

1. Always Identify Yourself.

This is number one for a reason. You would be astonished at how many phone calls and e-mails we receive without any indication as to who is reaching out. Before a gatekeeper can even start helping you, they need to know your name. When you miss this step, it wastes valuable time that could be allotted toward a solution to your problem or important advice.

You also miss out on a chance to connect to someone who wants to help you, not just now but in the future too. Think of gatekeepers as your future in-the-know buddy, not just a means to an end or an obstacle in your path.

2. Ask the Real Question.

Dallas often says, “Ask the real question” when reaching out to casting directors, agents and filmmakers, and the same is true for gatekeepers. Our jobs are just as busy, so the clearer you can be about what you’re looking for, the faster we can provide an answer.

3. Check Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself.

We’ve all been there… hitting the panic button when technology fails us. Maybe you haven’t gotten your sides for tomorrow’s audition. Maybe you can’t log in to Actors Access. Or maybe, you’re still waiting to hear back on that message you left.

Before you send that frantic e-mail at 2:00am – and then another 15 minutes later – pause to make sure there isn’t something you can do on your end to fix the problem.

Don’t let a sense of urgency overtake your common sense. Before freaking out, ask yourself, “How can I solve this problem on my own first?” Check your SPAM filter. Reread those instructions. Double-check the schedule. Refresh the web page. Once you’ve exhausted all options, go ahead and calmly reach out, applying Tip #2.

Believe me, I know it’s hard. I once publicly flipped out because a woman cut me off entering a parking lot. Horn honking and explicatives to boot. Once I realized how silly I looked, I tried to apologize, and she ran away from me. And why wouldn’t she? Crazy behavior just makes you look crazy.

4. R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

Okay, I’ll admit it. I’ve got my favorites… and they’re my favorites because they treat me like they would want to be treated. They are friendly and clear, and they take an interest in me as a person.

That’s right, gatekeepers are people too.

The opposite is also true. I can easily list the names of people who were rude or dismissive and when. And I’m less likely to go out of my way for them next time. If you don’t respect my position and time, why would I risk upsetting my boss and jeopardizing my job for you?

In the words of T. Harv Eker, “The way you do anything is the way you do everything.” How you treat a gatekeeper reflects how you treat everyone.
 Don’t assume your behavior isn’t being noted or that the boss isn’t going to hear about it.

I’ve thrown up the Gatekeeper bat signal, and this applies across the board to all offices.

5. Trust Me.

I always appreciate someone who is willing to ask for what they ideally want, so if it’s possible, I will make it happen. Really, I am on your side. So, if I say no, I mean no. More specifically, I mean that I’ve checked with company policy and my boss before just telling you no.

The entertainment industry is not like Verizon. If you don’t like what one representative has to say, you cannot just hang up and dial again. The entertainment industry is small, so you’re going to interact with the same people again and again. You have to approach the situation differently, almost like we’re co-workers and not ships passing in the night. Don’t assume we’ll never run into each other again.

In our office, our intention is to always have your back, but it’s not the same situation everywhere. Respect the boundaries a gatekeepers sets, and you will earn their respect. Building those relationships can prove to be just as powerful as any with big-time filmmakers and high-profile CDs.

I love the idea of us being allies. It’s my favorite part of my job, supporting creative people fulfilling their dreams and sharing their talents. 

So if we’re going to be friends, just remember to say hello, keep it short and sweet, and come from a place of respect and trust. I’ll meet you in the middle.

Have you ever had a great experience with a gatekeeper? Tell me about it in the comments box below.

“How do you keep fear from getting in the way of your best work when you haven’t worked in a while?”

You and I both know that fear is poisonous in the audition room, as well as in your marketing.

So, what is the secret sauce behind keeping fear at bay so you can freely follow your dreams?

Watch this week’s Acting Business Bite to find out.

Now, it’s your turn… How do you overcome the fear that arises between acting gigs?

Share your thoughts in the comments box below.

Well, maybe a mastermind group won’t make you famous, but it will make you more productive, confident, and successful.

If you’ve ever thought about forming a mastermind group or if you want to make sure your mastermind group rocks, you’ll love my article featured in Backstage.

It outlines how to select the members of your group, how to structure your meetings, and how to ensure that the group stays focused and productive.

Check out the article here…

I’d love to hear about the roles you’ve auditioned for and how you can use these 3 parameters to uplevel your career. Please share your experience in the comments below.

Watch this week’s video to find out ways to seamlessly say “No Thanks”, without disappointing anyone, feeling bad, or being rude.

Have you managed to stay connected to your fans but still remain true to yourself? Leave a comment, and let me know how you gracefully handled the situation.